Millennials Are Literally Crying Over Spilled (Almond) Milk*
By ALMOND REPORT
After a freak accident involving the delivery truck at A Really Healthy Grocery Store, over 300 gallons of almond milk spilled across the freeway near Hipsterville leaving the residents within a ten-mile radius without almond milk for the next week. Luckily no one was hurt.
Many are gathering this evening for a candlelight vigil to mourn the almonds lost, while local coffee shops have partnered with the knitting society and started taking donations to purchase nut milk bags to keep shops open. Whole natural almonds are already selling out of all grocery stores in the greater metropolitan area...
*This story is fictitious and no almond milk was lost in the creation of this story.